When I went back into work this afternoon, one of the teachers I work with told me that the director wanted to meet with me after my last class. I spent the day dealing with some nerves, and the anxiety of not-knowing whether or not I was about to thrust myself into a conflict I was creating. It turns out that there was little need for my worries. The director simply asked me to reconsider my decision 4 times, asked me to stay for an additional semester once, but finally accepted my decision to leave. He also told me that he didn't want me to regret the part of my life that I've spent in Korea, gave me his blessing, and told me to work out the details with Thomas (the head teacher).

So with a deep sigh of relief, I am free to enjoy my remaining 20 days of work, my last 34 days in Korea.

All research into making a stop-over in Tokyo en route home to Calgary suggests it is not worth the extra $400 for one day. I can get a one day stop in Tokyo for $1200 CAD. I can get a flight with two hour stop in Tokyo for $780. I have begun investigating the possibility of a weekend trip to Tokyo instead. Sadly, I am beginning to realize that if I want to delay finding full-time paid employment in Canada until after the federal election, I will likely have to forgo any travel plans outside of Korea.

Still no word from the boss on my resignation.

Procrastination...or fear?

So the head teacher (Thomas from here on out) did not tell the director today at work. He waited until I got in at 1:50 p.m. (AFTER HIS MEETING WITH THE DIRECTOR) to see if Hennie (the aforementioned other foreign teacher) had been able to change my mind. Then he told me at 4:30 that he hadn't told him yet. Frustration began to creep into my face as Thomas asked me again if I was sure. I told him I had written a letter and that I could give it to him if he wanted it. He told me he would talk to the director. At 7:55 he told me he would be talking to the director in 15 or so minutes. When I left my last class of the day at 8:52, Thomas was sitting at a table in the lobby having a conversation with the administrator (Julia) who is "responsible" for me. At 9:02 I went over to him and asked if he had anything to tell me before I went home. He told me that the director wasn't around, so Thomas couldn't tell him. But he did tell Julia, and was planning to tell the director ON THE PHONE later tonight. I got to reaffirm my decision to leave to Julia before heading home.

Things are rather quiet around here this evening. Apart from an attempt to put my experiences with the SU into written words, it's been a normal evening. Talking about the SU occasionally makes me want to go back to old vices. So far it's just gotten to the point of listening to SU era music and remembering conversations Tash and I had in the early days. I try not to think too much about being asked to resign on a weekly basis by a couple of vocal council members. Bastards.

In other news, Miss Puddles is being uncharacteristically quiet tonight. She must be sick. She's done nothing but howl since her owner abandoned her with me... She still doesn't respond to Miss Puddles....

Denial
Apparently the other foreign teacher wasn't listening to me last night after all. He asked me again this morning if I had slept on it. Things often seem different in the morning, at night all is dark, with the light of the new day comes new hope yada yada. Told him I was certain. He suggested I put my intentions in writing so that the school will take me seriously. Perhaps I'll give him a copy so that he takes it seriously too...

Well, it's been a new day for me. I started back to work after a 5 day holiday this morning. No one came to my 10 a.m. class (quiet hurrah!) so I got to spend the hour chatting with Robbie, whom I rarely hear from these days. I also got to agonize over how to break the news that I want to leave Korea four months early for an extra hour.

I decided about a week and a half ago that today was the day to tell them. When I went into work, the teacher who serves as a translator between the foreign teachers and the administrators told me that one of the administrators would be observing some of my classes today. Groan. That seems to only happen here when negative comments have been made (or perhaps I am being overly suspicious. I often imagine sinister dealings. I believe they call it paranoia in some circles...

I taught for a couple of hours, and then ran out to buy some dinner on my break. In the ten minutes I was out of the school I practiced my speech to the head teacher over and over again. We both have an hour break at 4:00 p.m. so I figured that would be the least confrontational time to talk to him. When I got back to the school, the head teacher saw my face when I walked into the teachers room and immediately asked me what was wrong. I didn't realize I had become completely incapable of concealing my feelings. The rehearsed speech flew right out of my head, and I stammered for a minute. Then I told him that my family had asked me to come back to Canada (my rehearsed line for homesickness nicely crafted into sentiment that should be easy to understand as Korean parents are telling their children what to do well into adulthood), and that I was unhappy teaching. He took the news well, as he is a pretty nice guy, but there is some concern about what the director's reaction will be. Apparently I'm facing a typical case of bad timing.

At a staff meeting of the Korean teachers today, the director circulated a flyer that advertised a big new
school opening down the street from us in March, and the director is very very worried about
losing students to them. As a result, teachers will begin checking up on teaching again, to make sure
everyone is behaving properly. Thus Julia is in my classes this week... So with all of this in mind, Thomas said the
director is likely to see my leaving as a further threat to his business. He asked me several times if I
had made up my mind, and I told him I had. He said he would talk to the director and that he didn't know
anything about my contract, so he couldn't answer any questions I may have yet.

I told the teachers that I'm closest to about my decision. Three of them are also leaving at the end of this term.

After work (which was rather uneventful today), I talked to Thomas who told me he hadn't told the director yet, but
would do so tomorrow morning, and would then talk to me again at our 4 pm break. When I got home I caught the
end of the golden globes. I think I might be developing a crush on Uma Thurman...

The phone rang a few minutes into it. It was one of the other foreign teachers calling to talk to me about my decision. I had decided to tell the school before I told the other couple I work with because I didn't want them to try to talk me out of it. Not surprisingly, he was calling to ask me if I was leaving because of the water heater. Come on, it would take more than that... Well, he was really calling one more time on behalf of Thomas to be sure I had made up my mind before going to talk the director. I told him I had. I told him that it wasn't about that at all, that everyone at the school had been very good to me. I told him it was because of my family, and that I wasn't happy teaching anymore. He eventually decided to listen to me.

So, I guess I'm waiting until tomorrow to hear the response from the director. In other news, I came home to a
quiet Norco/Miss Puddles (did I mention I want to change her name? gonnnngggg. too traumatic for kitties though I imagine), and an otherwise empty apartment, so it's been a nice evening. Watched an episode of the West Wing. Not one of the best... but Josh was funny...wearing Sam's bad weather sailing gear... tee hee.

I currently have two men with a blue box, 30 feet of black hose, and an ajuma (old lady) knocking over bottles in my kitchen. So far in the water tank repair process of the day there have been 5 people involved. I called the director this morning. He sent over an "engineer" at 3 p.m. The engineer looked at stuff, and went upstairs to get the ajuma, and they both came back down. Then they left. I didn't understand what they told me. Then the director called me. He told me to go upstairs and get the ajuma. She came to my apartment and spoke with the director. Then she hung up the phone and told me not to go anywhere. I protested as I would really like to leave my apartment at some point today. Then the director called and told me not to go anywhere. So I waited. Then these three showed up. Two middleaged men and the ajuma from upstairs. They did something with their hose and their blue machine, and now they appear to be packing up. Is there hot water though? And if so, how long will it last? I think the ajuma is just here to look at my stuff. There's now a third man. Maybe her husband. I'm not sure I've ever seen him before. But he's wearing red socks and a red and black flannel hunters cap with the ear flaps and all. They've left the tap running in the bathroom, I don't know how long that should continue. Bizarre.

I hit another milestone in my ongoing struggle with the hot water heater in my apartment today. Have I mentioned? The story goes that sometime, about 8 weeks ago, the hot water heater decided to bang, moan, whine like a dying cow, and flick off and on depending on the severity of its condition on any given day. Some days the water is fine, some days it is ice cold, some days is oscillates. Most days the water will become lukewarm only if you run the cold water in the sink while you run the shower at it's hottest. Two days ago, however, it went ice cold.

Now, after mentioning the problem with the water to the director of my school three times before our Christmas break, and on a weekly basis since Toby left, I have yet to have the problem fixed. I have a fix for it, of course, as that's the Korean way. My director has twice come to my apartment to "repair" the problem. The first time he gave me a complex set of instructions to "reactivate" the heater.

1. Go out into the freezing cold covered rear porch where the beast lives and kills all manner of living creatures from the sounds of it.
2. Turn off the gas that powers the heater.
3. Open the water valve until pressure and a few drops of water are released.
4. Close the valve.
5. Turn on the gas.
6. Come back inside (after retrieving Miss Puddles from her favourite play place).
7. Switch the hot water controls in my room off and on 3 times.
8. Turn on the hot water.

Since I've been provided with this "solution", I've had to reactivate the heater 4 times. Each time, it provides hot water for one shower, lukewarm water for one shower, and ice cold water for everything after. Annoying, but at least it's not boiling water to pour over myself in a rustic attempt at bathing with no bathtub.

Two days ago, however, the situation changed for the worse. Way worse. Now, when I turn on the hot water taps on the bathroom or switch the control to the left in the kitchen, no water at all comes out. Perhaps something decided to freeze in one of the pipes during one of the heater's "off" periods. All I know is that doing the trick gets me no hot water, and no water from two taps. At least it got the room heating turned back on today, as Seoul is going through it's second cold snap of the year.

Yesterday I braved the arctic chill of the unheated bathroom with my electric kettle, two plastic basins, and a cup. Fifteen minutes and 5 boilings later, I emerged with my hair unwashed, but relatively warm and arguably clean. Today, I needed to wash my hair so off to the bath-house I went. There is a sauna near my apartment called Daelim Sauna. I've only been there once before, when Toby and I were unable to get the gas to work in our apartment, but the swimming pool I used to go to had a bath-house with it, so I'm familiar with the routine.I purposefully go when it won't be too crowded. Foreigners are still a rarity in many peoples' daily lives in Korea, and well, a very pale, naked red-head can be cause for some stares. That in combination with the tattoo on my back (tattoos are illegal to get in Korea) tend to turn a relaxing hour at the "spa" into a complete loss of whatever modesty and dignity one retains whilst bathing naked with strangers. Today, there was no option of going at an "off" time, as we are in the midst of the Lunar New Year holiday, and my entire neighborhood seemed to be at the sauna.

For the unitiated, here is the run down of the Korean sauna. You pay at the main counter outside, where you receive a towel. There is a men's side, and a women's side. You'll have to check with Toby about the setup of the guys' side, but on the women's, you walk into an area filled with lockers. A nice lady will indicate that you should put your shoes in one of them, then she'll give you a key. You take the key to a counter where you can buy face washes, shampoos, oils, and exfoliating cloths, and you exchange your shoe key for your locker key. Then, you go to your locker, declothe, and take your washing apparatuses and your towel out into the centre of a room lined with mirrors and naked ladies. Through another set of steamy glass doors, you'll find the bathing room.

Depending on the size and sophistication of the bath house, the main room will contain anywhere from 3 to 12 different pools and hot tubs. I don't know how cold the colds ones are, or how hot the hottest one is, but rest assured there is a wide range of temperatures. Along one wall of this particular bath house, there are several types of saunas, most equipped with TV's to watch while you sweat your sicknesses out. Along the side and back walls are the showers, and the reason I went in today.

To my absolute dismay, the place was packed. Luckily, I didn't see a single student among the 20 or so kids running around. All of the showers were taken, so there was nothing to do but place my washing tools inside a small plastic basin, nudge my bottom onto a stone ledge along the hottest tub, and wait for an opportunity to make a break for a shower. Waiting time is occupied with exfoliation.

The most prevalent activity at the bath house is (for once among Korean ladies not talking!!!!) exfoliating. Every person in the room, from the oldest woman to the smallest girl, has a green or yellow cloth on her hand. These cloths are circulated around every inch of every body in there. That's what a "spa" day is in Korea. Scrubbing, washing, scrubbing, rubbing, exfoliating every part of yourself. Friends will go together, sitting naked in the saunas and tubs talking, and then take turns scrubbing one another's backs. If a lady is there alone, the woman at the shower next to her will offer to scrub her back for her. There are no cares that you are naked in front of either your friends, your mother, or strangers. It has become a ritual of health and relaxation among the people here. Mind you, no one has ever offered to scrub my back...

I managed to weasel my way into a shower after waiting/exfoliating for only about 5 minutes. Normally, I would have gone through a relaxing (if not properly patterned) series of hot tub visits, but my western sensitivities about nudity stood in the way today. I mean, I think most of us occasionally have exhibitionist tendencies, but there were just too many people for me.

Wandering back through the main part of the locker room, I marveled at the beautiful women lounging around on wooden benches in various stages of undress. Many were old, many were young... they sat in quiet reflection. There was one thing that seemed to bring them all together, one thing they all (except for the stark naked ones) had in common. Granny panties. It never ceases to amaze me. Even the teenagers and small girls, the 25 year olds. Yards of fabric, usually some white satiny concotion. Such small ladies, such big underwear. I'll never understand it.

Well I've had an interesting weekend. It didn't turn out quite how it was supposed to, but it's probably the best one I've had so far this year.

I had to work on Friday (I only work for an hour every other Friday, and only to tell a story to about 30 children), but I managed to cross every item off my to do list before 3:30 p.m. That left me lots of time to get stumped trying to move past the pathetically basic step I'm currently struggling with in the creation of my website. I've been struggling with the step since last March when I gave up. I've made it a goal of mine to learn how to do this properly before this March, so I've got a few more months.

Just as I was starting to settle into this week's episode of 24, my friend Al called to announce he had arrived in Seoul. I tore myself away from the t.v. and went down to Itaewan to meet him. Al is a remarkable fellow. I met him through my friend Rhoni about two months ago, and have seen him most weekends since (including Christmas eve in Beijing). Each time we meet, I find out more fascinating things about his life. From his experiences, all of the places he's been, the work that he's done, the people he's met, you would think he's 60. At least. Anyway, we wandered up to an Indian restaurant I had been to once before and remembered it being better than it was, where we had a bite to eat before heading out into the bars. The first one we visited was Geckos, which was characteristically packed with American military. I usually don't go there until later in the evening (closer to curfew when the rowdies are gone), if at all. At one point they played Garth Brooks "Friends in low places", which they often do there, and it seemed every American in the bar wailed along (nothing like the Gumi girls dancing on the tables in Psycho to "the Gambler", but very down home). I was astonished when Al asked me why everyone knew the song. I told him they always play it at weddings, smiling to myself for knowing one little thing that he didn't...trust me, it's the only one.

We then attempted to go to Bricx for a bit, but they were having some sort of raunchy sex themed party that we were not in costume for, and thus decided to go to a "footballers" pub that Al had once been to. It turned out to be Hollywood, a pub I had been to a few times, but somehow managed to forget about. I'll have to remember that one more often. The rest of the evening was spent with Al telling stories, and me losing my point in the drunken rambles that come so easilly to me these days. He smoked. Bummed one off a Frenchie. I didn't.

The next day started late for me. I slept off and on until just before 2 p.m. when the 56th phone call for my new roomemate convinced me it was time to get up. I went out into a rainy day to buy cat food for Toby's Norco monster, who seems to do nothing but eat and bite me, and began to waiver on my committment to head down south to Gumi to see my girls. Rainy, cold, grey days do not make for good travel weather anywhere. Thoughts of being cold for two days flitted through my mind as I tried and tried and failed to get in touch with Rhoni. After a brief chat with Toby (who was at work around 1 a.m. on a Friday night!!!!!), I decided to go ahead down to Gumi. I figured Rhoni was sleeping or having touble with her mobile, as she usually is. I should have tried harder to get a hold of someone else...

I had decided to take the train down to Gumi. It's about a 4 hour trip, and I had planned to go too late to reserve a seat. No matter, as my new favourite method of travel is buying a standing room ticket, and then getting a seat in the dining car. Much better for those of us who prefer writing to sleeping on trains, and doable with the mere purchase of a 3,000 Won pint of beer. Enjoying my time, seeing some sights south of Seoul for the first time in a while the first hour passed by very quickly. I was feeling more content than I have in a few weeks, when my mobile started ringing. Finaly, Rhoni was calling me back. I knew there was trouble when she started by saying "You haven't left Seoul yet, have you?" I told her I was an hour out, and she began to curse. Apparently, at 5:00 a.m. my friends had decided to check out snow festival in a town about two hours from Gumi. And had forgotten to call me. This is the type of news that would normally have set me off into some kind of outraged anger or hurt. For some lucky reason, though, I wasn't altogether too bothered. I got in touch with my friend Ryan in Daejeon (an hour down the line from where I was) to see if he felt up to doing anything instead. He just wanted to stay home (lame ass) though, so I decided to get off at Pyeongtaek and go back to Seoul. I had absolutely problems changing my ticket, and I even got a refund! The only bad thing was that I had to spend 30 minutes of the trip standing as there were no seats and no dining car.

I got back into Seoul station, and called up Al. For some lucky reason (unbeknownst to me at the time), I had grabbed the number of his hotel before I left home. He was planning on going dancing later on, but wasn't up to much yet. Being around dinnertime, we decided to meet for a bite. We went for Deukk Galbi (chicken breast cooked with cabbage, carrotts, potatoes, thick and spicy red pepper paste, long chewy rice cakes, and strangely apple. I've never had it with apple before) and talked about religion, death, and the errosion of my self confidence - a long, slow process that I've decided has come to an end - among other things. I decided to trail along with Al for a while longer, and we went to his hotel for me to stash my now unecessary backpack, and to look at some of his pictures from his recent trip to Australia. He had these shots of beetles that were unlike anything I've ever seen. Blue, green, tourquise, purple. Never have I seen insects in those colors. Eventually we headed to Hongdae, the premiere club district in Seoul. We started out at Tin Pan, my favourite little bar in the area for some cheap booze before we went to pay the absurd prices in the clubs. During the warmer summer months Toby and I had developed an effective routine of going into the club for about an hour of dancing, and then heading street-side to a convenience store to pick up a couple of cheap beers and drink them on the curb. So nice to live in a place that lacks the conservative liquor laws of North America. We headed over to Jokerred for about two hours. They were handing out promotional packages of cigarettes at the door. I put mine in my purse for about 5 minutes, then handed them over to Al. Somewhat reluctantly, but it's for the best. We spent our time talking mostly about literature instead of dancing, and then we went to Matamata, where I left Al around 3:30 a.m. to take a taxi home to my Norco.

Awoken multiple times by the telephone ringing for the roomemate, I had an unsettled sleep this morning. Al called around noon to tell me to come fetch my bag so he could go back to Daejeon to work. I decided to have a Sunday afternoon out on my own, and headed off to my favourite shopping area of Seoul to browse. Insadong street is Seoul's way of showcasing traditional Korean handicrafts. It's a wonderful place that attracts foreigners looking for trinkets to take home, and is blocked off to cars on Sundays, making it a great place to wander. It was snowing, so Insadong was pretty empty, with many of my favourite shops standing closed. Unable to do much browsing, I decided to take my book out for lunch. I went to Au Bon Pain, a recent more appealing addition to the mostly Pepsi owned western food outlets in Korea, where I enjoyed a bowl of clam chowder in a bread bowl, a cafe Americano, and a couple of chapters of Hilary Clinton's "Living History." I stopped by the interestingl named YoungPoon bookstore and picked up this week's Economist and a copy of Gustave Flaubert's "Madame Bovary", as recommended by my friend last night. I toyed with the idea of heading out to a movie, but decided instead to come home and do laundry. Walking up my street I saw the roomemate had reappeared from his long absence (been gone since midday Friday) and was on the stoop smoking. Sigh.

Now it's laundry and prep for my classes, among other things. I'm going to give that website thing a go later on. It's a short week at work, as the Korean Lunar New Year holiday begins on Wednesday, giving me 5 days off, so the prep will be minimal.

And that, my friends, is an update. All of you who harrassed me for info had better comment.

Vegetable Soup For One.

There's something both lonely and comforting about Campbells soups. Childhood, winter afternoons skating in Dover, quick easy lunches in Olympus, and now a reminder of home in Seoul. But for a year these soups have given me only one bowl of memories, western tastes, and sodium. Never enough, always leaving me wanting a second helping, but happy. Today I wish there was someone to share with.

I've never been particulary good at being alone. Especially dining alone... For all of my strengths, getting to know me certainly hasn't been one. Now, at 25, a world away from my friends and suddenly without my boyfriend, I'm being forced to get acquainted. My week of locking myself into my half-empty apartment has come to an end. Starting today (well, really tomorrow as I literally have less than $5 to my name until I get paid) I will do the things I should have starting doing when I was 18. This city will be all the company that I need, and my interests and I will be free to get to know each other a bit more.

As for the soup, I guess that second bowl can be lunch tomorrow.

Thanks so much to my friend Andy for introducing me to the unassailably cool world of strongbad. Especially the emails. Especially this one. Science for someone who got C's in Bio 305.

You are Professor X!

You are a very effective teacher, and you are very
committed to those who learn from you. You put
your all into everything you do, to some extent
because you fear failure more than anything
else. You are always seeking self-improvement,
even in areas where there is nothing you can do
to improve.


Which X-Men character are you most like?
brought to you by Quizilla

Not at all what I thought I would be! Bang on about the failure bit though... the fear more than the effort.

The car kicking was rather out of character for Mr. White. I'm usually the one who can't contain anger, then again, he did almost get run over by what could only have been one of the least aware drivers I've ever seen. Sure, she was only going about 15 km an hour on a narrow side street, but how could she have not seen him??? There is a dent the size of Toby White's left dress shoe on a white Hyundai somewhere in Seoul. At least it wasn't me.

And that being said, it must be time to update my blog for my dedicated few readers, as there have been some changes....

Toby has returned to Canada to take a job in the wintry capital, Ottawa. He's currently huddled up in a shivering ball in Calgary's -27 degree deep freeze, while I'm in Seoul moving the apartment around to make room for his replacement (an American who arrives on Tuesday, that's all I know). I've moved my desk into our, sigh, my room in case he/she is a creepy. We don't like creepies. I've decided to stay in Korea for a while, at first because I had grand ideas about paying off the notebook I bought in October before returning home. Now it's simply to await the coming of March, then April, when I will be hitting Thailand, maybe Beijing and Hong Kong, and meeting mon frere in Prague where we will begin our somewhat eclectic mini-tour of Europe. I have, however, started applying for jobs in the motherland, so I may be home sooner if someone is fooled by my resume into thinking that I'm a somewhat competent individual.

We managed a jaunt to China over Christmas and had a fabulous time there. I'll write about that as soon as I get a chance. In the meantime, you can check out Toby's fotki site for a taste of Christmas day. If you view it as a slideshow, you won't get the delightful commentary we thoughtfully crafted over bevies in the hotel lounge in the evening on Christmas day... We spent 6 glorious days in Beijing and I want to go back when I leave Korea. It was amazing. And cheap like borscht.

Toby left on January 1st, and suffered some sort of 22 hour journey homeward into the chills of Calgary's 2004. I, on the other hand, experienced a balmy winter weekend in Seoul with my girls from Gumi. Some friends came up to make sure I didn't cry alone in my apartment all weekend, and dragged me out for Indian food, movies, and a stay at the Dragon Hill Lodge on the US army base in Seoul. It was very cool. Americans are funny. And the US army is filled with fire and brimstone baptists, like the one I met named either Robert or Tony (he was a bit confusing). He's praying for me, even though he doesn't like Canadians. We're peace loving, yet we refuse to fight to protect peace. Go figure. Then he told me that no girl with a nose piercing could be a decent role model for Korean children learning English. That's when Rhoni and I finished our sangria and left. He was from Tennessee. We spent some time drinking with some Sudanese fellows in Itaewan - one was the chairman of his students' association in university, who described some very interesting activities that he was involved in during his tenure. Fighting to free a country from military rule might be a bit more, what's the word, meaningful than my opposition to differential tuition... staved it off, I did. Staved. Staying on base was rather interesting, but no details are necessary other than mentioning the 5 girls sharing a hotel room ahem, and the deli in the basement is amazing. Best tuna sandwich ever. Even better than the bagel ones I used to make. Super yum.

Work starts again tomorrow for me. I'm teaching 9 classes, which means I'll be making lots of extra cash, but will also be pressed for free time (less time to pine away for my government relater, I suppose). I'll be sure to keep everyone updated on the status of the creepy, and on my solo adventures in Korea. Sadly, there will likely be no more car kickins to report now that Toby is back in the land of the orderly and the free. And the non-spitters. Oh how I wish the horking would stop...